Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
