it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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