I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
