he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I need to stop coming to work sober
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it's great music for shaving your balls
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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