ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
