you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
