In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize