Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
