we were pretty classy up until the second keg
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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