dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i drank out of a bidet.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
