somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize