Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
