she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
