The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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