so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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