Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
