maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
