halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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