it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
