Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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