I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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