you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
