what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
