There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
