No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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