i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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