I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
