I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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