why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
