I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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