I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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