Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
