I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
