I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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