I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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