When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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