There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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