Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
