I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
