What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
