apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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