You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she looked like the before picture.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
