You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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