We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
