Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
