A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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