ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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