Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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