So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize