Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
