At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
