Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
