Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
