He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
