So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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