he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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