Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
