This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
