and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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