i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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