If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
