I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You took a bar mat shot.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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