last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
birth control should be required to get into college
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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